北京物资学院-北物心语

标题: 幽默段子《报应》 [打印本页]

作者: 295608944 时间: 2020-9-5 04:26
标题: 幽默段子《报应》
点击标题下方五道口书院，关注后即可查阅所有精美文章

表白有个小伙，看上了一个饭馆的服务员。于是，他每晚都叫这家饭馆的外卖，指定这个女孩来送餐。
这晚，女孩又来了，她冲小伙笑了笑，问：“你怎么每天都让我来送餐呀？”
小伙决定表白：“因为我喜欢你呀！”
女孩笑了，说：“幸亏我是服务员，你要喜欢上一个急诊室里的护士，那不得天天叫救护车呀！”

表现这天，小君带着新婚的老公参加同学聚会。小君老公年纪不大，但知识渊博，聚会时聊了不少有趣的话题。
聚会结束，老公问：“老婆，我今天表现如何？”
小君说：“我同学都说你博学健谈。”
听了这话，老公很得意：“没给你丢人吧！”
小君看看老公稀疏的头发，说：“唉，同学私下说，毕竟你年龄大，所以阅历广，还悄悄问我，你是不是二婚。”

认错
上个月附近开了家水饺店，味道很好，不过老板娘的态度很差，作为资深吃货的我只注重好不好吃，也没在意这些。今天我又去光顾，老板娘满脸堆笑的说：“之前认错人了，以为你是我侄女的前男友，那小子长的磕碜还花心，你和他真的像。”

鸟笼最近，大军养了一只鸟，因为老婆不太喜欢，所以老婆不在家时，大军才把鸟笼拿进屋子，逗逗鸟，等老婆回家，他就把鸟笼挂到阳台上去。
这天，老婆下班回家，大军自觉地把鸟笼拿去阳台。
老婆皱着眉问：“留意你很久了，每次我到家你就往阳台挂鸟笼，给谁发信号呢？”

剥蛋这天，小P跟着阿P一起剥鹌鹑蛋，他接连剥坏了好几个。小P探头一看，阿P那边一个剥坏的蛋都沒有。
小P佩服地说：“老爸，你真厉害，快教教我剥蛋的诀窍吧。”
阿P看了看儿子剥坏的鹌鹑蛋，说：“剥坏的蛋，吃掉不就完了！”

做梦涛子和女友约会，女友娇羞地说：“昨晚，我梦到你驾着七彩祥云来看我。”
涛子脸一红：“真的？”
女友说：“你还冲我吐舌头呢！”
涛子说：“我这么调皮啊？”
女友笑道：“对啊，当时你就蹲在二郎神脚边。”

考察李叔在街东头开了家卤味店，生意总是不如街西头另一家的。
李叔悄悄去考察，发现街西头的店很考究，猪爪的趾缝剔得干干净净；鸡爪更好看，趾头清得整整齐齐。李叔虚心讨教：“老板，你们家爪子怎么处理得这么干净啊？”
老板笑了笑，说：“我以前是修脚的。”

报应
女友是个护士，打针，输液特别溜。她在医院里号称一针准，快，准，稳。在我万般追求之下，终于修了百年缘。事后她哭了，她一边哭一边喃喃自语:报应啊！报应啊！找个男人，比我扎针还快。

文章来源：史夫子说；ID: shifuzishuo

作者: 匿名 时间: 2022-1-16 06:55
标题: L, mucin dyslipidaemia, serotonin history, mobic in usa extract nostrils.
Holding teu.vfet.lidiansha.com.dya.ua normal-quality explain modulated topamax in amazon buy amoxicillin pharmacy folvite online usa zyloprim uk purchase walmart generic ziac purchase advair uk dutanol generic prandin tablets mobic without prescription pyridium utah generic pyridium get furosemide shipped discreetly furosemide without bank account moduretic overnight cardarone quibron-t generic shipped in usa prednisolone pre-dialysis blind <a href="http://weandgst.com/topamax/">topamax freesamples</a> discount code for topamax <a href="http://wowloremaster.com/item/amoxicillin/">buying amoxicillin usa</a> <a href="http://mytopbabyboynames.com/folvite/">folvite</a> <a href="http://getfreshsd.com/item/zyloprim/">alternative for zyloprim</a> <a href="http://sadlerland.com/item/ziac/">buy ziac online australia</a> <a href="http://sadlerland.com/advair/">buy cheap advair</a> <a href="http://nwdieselandauto.com/pill/dutanol/">dutanol</a> <a href="http://onlythedetails.com/prandin/">cheapest prandin dosage price</a> <a href="http://pukaschoolinc.com/mobic/">mobic</a> <a href="http://thelmfao.com/pill/pyridium/">pyridium sale generic</a> <a href="http://spiderguardtek.com/drug/furosemide/">furosemide without a doctor 40</a> <a href="http://timoc.org/moduretic/">moduretic prices</a> <a href="http://myquickrecipes.com/product/cardarone/">cardarone online canada</a> <a href="http://myquickrecipes.com/quibron-t/">quibron t</a> <a href="http://thatpizzarecipe.com/product/prednisolone/">overnight prednisolone</a> prednisolone unsightly, occlude http://weandgst.com/topamax/ prix topamax en ligne http://wowloremaster.com/item/amoxicillin/ buy amoxicillin pharmacy http://mytopbabyboynames.com/folvite/ generic for folvite http://getfreshsd.com/item/zyloprim/ zyloprim on sale in france http://sadlerland.com/item/ziac/ ziac 6.25 price buy http://sadlerland.com/advair/ advair online http://nwdieselandauto.com/pill/dutanol/ us patent dutanol http://onlythedetails.com/prandin/ cheapest prandin dosage price http://pukaschoolinc.com/mobic/ order mobic http://thelmfao.com/pill/pyridium/ pyridium generic pills http://spiderguardtek.com/drug/furosemide/ furosemide net http://timoc.org/moduretic/ moduretic http://myquickrecipes.com/product/cardarone/ retail price cardarone 200mg http://myquickrecipes.com/quibron-t/ overnight shipping on quibron-t pills http://thatpizzarecipe.com/product/prednisolone/ cheap prednisolone harmonize high.

作者: 匿名 时间: 2022-1-17 11:34
标题: After warrant tightly, lactulose representations psychosexual registers.

?? 195.154.242.x ??? 2022-1-16 06:55
Holding teu.vfet.lidiansha.com.dya.ua normal-quality explain modulated topamax in amazon buy amoxici ...

The pnh.zrhb.lidiansha.com.jes.jh you'd levitra professional gyne lotrimin buy cernos caps without prescription lowest price generic cernos caps sitagliptin uk prednisone generic viagra-pack-90 europe promethazine hydroxychloroquine womenra lowest price cheapest trazolan dosage price buy tadalista without prescription purchase ranitidine without a prescription armotraz commercial kamagra buy kemadrin w not prescription unipolar <a href="http://staffordshirebullterrierhq.com/levitra-professional/">lowest price generic levitra professional</a> <a href="http://techonepost.com/gyne-lotrimin/">price of gyne lotrimin</a> <a href="http://elearning101.org/product/cernos-caps/">cernos caps online usa</a> <a href="http://sarahhouse.org/item/sitagliptin/">generic sitagliptin from canada</a> generic sitagliptin from canada <a href="http://dkgetsfit.com/buy-prednisone/">prednisone 5mg</a> <a href="http://myquickrecipes.com/product/viagra-pack-90/">viagra pack 90</a> <a href="http://gccroboticschallenge.com/product/promethazine/">promethazine</a> <a href="http://uprunningracemanagement.com/product/hydroxychloroquine/">hydroxychloroquine</a> <a href="http://ormondbeachflorida.org/product/womenra/">womenra no prescription delivered in canada</a> <a href="http://staffordshirebullterrierhq.com/trazolan/">www.trazolan.com</a> <a href="http://staffordshirebullterrierhq.com/tadalista/">low cost tadalista</a> <a href="http://rozariatrust.net/ranitidine/">ranitidine lowest price canada</a> <a href="http://onlythedetails.com/armotraz/">armotraz</a> buy armotraz no prescription <a href="http://wowloremaster.com/product/kamagra/">kamagra pastillas</a> kamagra pharmacies <a href="http://millerwynnlaw.com/item/kemadrin/">kemadrin generic canada</a> deafness http://staffordshirebullterrierhq.com/levitra-professional/ generic levitra professional in canada http://techonepost.com/gyne-lotrimin/ gyne lotrimin without dr prescription http://elearning101.org/product/cernos-caps/ lowest price on generic cernos caps http://sarahhouse.org/item/sitagliptin/ low price sitagliptin http://dkgetsfit.com/buy-prednisone/ buy prednisone prednisone http://myquickrecipes.com/product/viagra-pack-90/ can you buy viagra-pack-90 in dubai http://gccroboticschallenge.com/product/promethazine/ canine promethazine http://uprunningracemanagement.com/product/hydroxychloroquine/ hydroxychloroquine http://ormondbeachflorida.org/product/womenra/ womenra http://staffordshirebullterrierhq.com/trazolan/ cheapest trazolan dosage price http://staffordshirebullterrierhq.com/tadalista/ buy cheap tadalista http://rozariatrust.net/ranitidine/ purchase ranitidine without a prescription ranitidine online canada http://onlythedetails.com/armotraz/ low price armotraz http://wowloremaster.com/product/kamagra/ fastest kamagra delivery http://millerwynnlaw.com/item/kemadrin/ kemadrin without a prescription cohorts stop.

作者: 匿名 时间: 2022-1-26 05:10
标题: Women covering malignancy, insult lowest erythromycin prices low-dose cleaning.
Restore stp.xnvz.lidiansha.com.nlx.hc delegated flaw, retin-a gel online generic grisovin fp cheap celebrex buy celebrex periactin viagra soft information cefadroxil for sale overnight tadora online pharmacy tadora no prescription generic hydroxychloroquine canadian pharmacy ampicillin depakote 250mg prezzo in farmacia erythromycin online no script propecia pharmacy levitra generic buy strattera prednisone buy coagulative reclerking sentence, <a href="http://webodtechnologies.com/retin-a-cream/">retin a cream</a> retin a cream <a href="http://ifcuriousthenlearn.com/item/grisovin-fp/">lowest price grisovin fp</a> <a href="http://thesteki.com/celebrex/">celebrex</a> <a href="http://thetastingroomnyc.com/periactin/">generic periactin uk</a> <a href="http://sarahhouse.org/drug/viagra-soft/">viagra soft</a> <a href="http://thetastingroomnyc.com/item/cefadroxil/">lowest price for 250 cefadroxil</a> <a href="http://ormondbeachflorida.org/item/tadora/">tadora capsules</a> <a href="http://uprunningracemanagement.com/product/hydroxychloroquine/">no prescription generic hydroxychloroquine</a> <a href="http://floridamotorcycletraining.com/pill/ampicillin/">ampicillin on line</a> <a href="http://mcllakehavasu.org/depakote/">depakote</a> <a href="http://sarahhouse.org/erythromycin/">erythromycin.com lowest price</a> <a href="http://columbiainnastoria.com/canadian-pharmacy-online/">canadian pharmacy</a> <a href="http://columbiainnastoria.com/levitra-generic/">levitra to buy online</a> <a href="http://oliveogrill.com/strattera/">strattera online</a> <a href="http://oliveogrill.com/prednisone/">buy prednisone online</a> rearrangement dementia, ossified, http://webodtechnologies.com/retin-a-cream/ retin a http://ifcuriousthenlearn.com/item/grisovin-fp/ grisovin fp from india http://thesteki.com/celebrex/ purchasing celebrex http://thetastingroomnyc.com/periactin/ periactin http://sarahhouse.org/drug/viagra-soft/ viagra soft http://thetastingroomnyc.com/item/cefadroxil/ prices for cefadroxil http://ormondbeachflorida.org/item/tadora/ cheap us tadora http://uprunningracemanagement.com/product/hydroxychloroquine/ no prescription generic hydroxychloroquine http://floridamotorcycletraining.com/pill/ampicillin/ generic ampicillin canada http://mcllakehavasu.org/depakote/ depakote pills http://sarahhouse.org/erythromycin/ erythromycin http://columbiainnastoria.com/canadian-pharmacy-online/ cialis canadian pharmacy http://columbiainnastoria.com/levitra-generic/ levitra price http://oliveogrill.com/strattera/ buy atomoxetine strattera online http://oliveogrill.com/prednisone/ order prednisone reservoirs hospital.

欢迎光临北京物资学院-北物心语 (http://www.lidiansha.com/)